it is september...

I fear my summer is almost at an end. well, at least i hope it is!
there's a lot up in the air this september, and i hope whatever lands lands in favor of being employeed once again and gaining a new skill by January. I suspect that my last blog didn't make much sense, nor should it if it's the one I'm thinking. i had a slightly elevated mood which lasted about 2 weeks and out of my head came slightly exagerated ideas which i can chalk up to a prexisting condition.
i feel slightly more sane now.
to tell true, i just got off the phone with ex boyfriend mike b.
i'm seriously tempted to see if we can create a friendship from the ashes of our past attempts since the break up in June.
this can be detrimental in many senses.
for one thing, i can never tell with him if we are going to have a good day or one that ends in me feeling like crap. sometimes we'll start off with a good day and end it with me pissed cause he was being an absolute asshole.
do i have the time and energy to even bother being friends with him?
i hope not, and yet i still like him enough to hope that he won't always make me feel like i'm not worth much because i'm fat or i miss running one time. just writting this makes me feel like even though i thought him attractive once, that's not always enough to justify him making me feel like shit.

ah.
my finally day in beautious VT.
and the sun has finally allowed me to let myself ride Dakota (horse) and swim in the river at the audbon in hunnington.
the swim was delicious.
the ride was good too.
on my FB account i typed a song i scribbled down at the river.
Back home in Salem i hope to record it or at least practice it with Nug and Pastor Phil.
i've been fiddling lately too. unfortunately since Vla is broken i am playin Vln...but i am amazed at how fast i can fiddle with Vln vs Vla.
i should wrap this up and have some water and a Luna bar.
i've enjoyed the organic and fair trade shoppin i've been able to do up in Burlington.
i feel loved by even the bluebird i saw sitting on the road as i drove from the river up here to the rest stop to use VT wifi.
if you are a regular reader of this blog i want to share God drew me to Luke 11. in the message it says " while he was saying these things some woman lifted her voice above the murmurin crowd 'Blessed the womb carried you and the breasts from which you nursed!' Jesus quipped "Even more blessed are those who hear God's WOrd and guard it with their lives!"

my aunt and uncle are athiest/agnostic. but all weekend my aunt has been sayin she is blessed. please pray that her heart is broken and restored by the one bestowin the blessings!

live from VT! it's...

If walking down the street wearing jeans, flops, paisly-esque shirt, and a tie dye bandana doesn't officially make you a hippie, does giving the peace sign, buying a fair trade peace ring, and swimming naked in a secluded river push you over the beat nick line?

i am recovering from dreams, visions, and basking in the glory of an Abba who told me take my burden, it's light!
and
cast all your cares upon me, for i love you!

he's been telling me some exciting revelations lately, please pray that they are carried out to the fullest to fufil my recurring image of a lighthouse growing out of Salem and Marblehead and igniting with holy spirit Fire, which then sends sparks across the nations to grow other (lifehouses)!

also pray for confimation that the silver chalice i see in my visions being filled and over flowing is the truth light and peace that the saviour wishes to pour upon the earth.

blessings friends.

love in Crist,

Izenbelle

didya ever feel like a comic book character?

so i'm chilling with my friend Joyce at the Vault, where the Gathering meets, and we start playing with the photo booth, cuz macbooks are cool, and get into conversing about the above photo.

Have you ever felt like a comic book hero?

i have.

i cannot "out" any of my fellow super heroes (most of whom also struggle with mental illness) but i will out myself as "Electric Elizabeth"

as a Holy Spirit baptized both in water and with the gift of toungues (also i'm able to speak french, a lil spainish, a lil welsh, and a lil german), the holy spirit tend s to literally make me move.

Joyce brought up an example of "being moved in the spirit" that happend Sunday, June 28th, 2009.

Jeff Gentry, co pastor of the Gathering at Salem, was speaking on Luke 9: the sending out of the disciples.

at a pivotal point in his point making, i had a moment of annointing and called out whilst twitching "hospitality".

when Jesus sent out his disciples he sent them with nothing, to heal and preach, so the basic distractions were stripped,and when entering villages, they had to humbly ask for basic needs, food , shelter, ect.=hospitality.

do you practice hospitality?

it's not easy, times are tight...unemployment and the like...but if we are blessed, shan't we share what we have with those who have not?

PAIX

dude, it's like...april!

this picture is a good symbol of finally feeling some warmth in the air!

today, good friday, april 10th 2009.
it means a lot to me in the reflection of a time where in a week the Saviour Jesus Christ went from hero(palm(pine) sunday) to most despised man in Isreal.
when in the Bible it mentions that God "hardened the hearts" it's usually a really bad thing for the one who is serving God.
it's also passover this week and i don't think there's any coinsidence that the remembrance of the perfect sacrifice is also at the same time the remembrance of being spared from the angel of death comes in jewish and christian faiths.

i'm in a lot better place than i was a couple weeks ago. it might be spring and the enjoying of the beautiful weather. it might be the natural progression of mood swings.

but having today off from work and trying to make an effort to reflect on how alone the Christ was, it's a privallege to carry everything to him who died, and on sunday we will remember, he who also rose again.

update february 18th

that's me and mike. we just started dating after hanging as friends for about a month.
it was really nice having him as a valentine this year.
also on valentines day i moved in an apartment on essex st Salem.
i have an apartmentmate named Suzanne. unfortunately the apartment is really bland and colorless. to fix this i hope to hang some colorful pictures. i like my room, small tho it may be. i'm hoping to hang some drapes up soon that are berry colored.
life has been going good. i've enjoyed introducing mike to my friends at the gathering through pub theology and Carlos' birthday roast.

i'm on school vacation this week and it's been good thus far. i look forward today to bowling with Chris and some of his friends and then going to DBSA, if the snow doesn't
start! also look forward to hanging with mike more, possibly rollerskating on Saturday with my friend becky, and maybe visiting gma sometime soon too.

heres to a new chapter in my life in salem!

update...oh and happy new year~2009~!

welcome to 2009!
Thank the Lord that i survived 08...recession/downturn, whatever! 2009 will be better for me that last year.

top 3 things that already make this year better than last:

1. I'm in the state and moving to the city where i belong.
after the mistake of indulging in a destructive mania which landed me broke and in jail...i can safely say that my Deliver has given me some support here in Salem, Marblehead namely my parents and home churches (Gathering and GCC).

2. Encouragement.
i have had the privallege to be encouraged by both fellow Christians, fellow mentally ill folks, and those who graciously work with them. yeah i had to be hospitalized a few times this year but it was worth it for the regaining of a bit of sanity. it was really great to meet the most mature group of "Streamers" yet and the Filid. both of whom inspired me to continue seeking God's will for my life.

3. Work.

after losing a job while trying to attempt retail at bed bath & beyond, i was blessed by doing a "TE" at Holten Richmond Middle School. that job i will maintain til june, i'm so grateful.

be blessed.