nauseum after naps

i've been getting motion sickness sitting still.

fairly unimportatnt. and yet...

i heard a sister in Christ speak once on "modern inconviences" and how to take things that irritate one and flip it out to a praise and blessing to the Abba.

funny how certain services stick in ones craw like toffee!

i don't know, but perhaps, it wasn't the point of the message that hit home, it was the receptiveness of God placing ears on softened hearts and "breathing" through the Sister Rev. to make the words politely planting seeds of "hope and a future" in ears willing to hear.

i'm befuddlingly amazed at the beauty of the earth. but sometimes i'm more in love with the creation my Daddy sprinkled amongst the foliage.

i'm going for a walk now in this gorgeous weather now, with my Lover of Life, Jesus.

Ben Stien? an excellent choice for a film, movie review of Expelled

I have been enjoying in my down time a movie, most of those who know me know at this point in my cycles(hypomania) i don't have the attention span for a 2 hour movie, but Expelled has captured my attention and made me aware of the dire need to get scientist to be scientist.

this movie has pithy humour and encourages a thought provolking conversation afterwards.

forunately it give creedence and sheds light upon a hidden debate.

ID(intelligent design) VS Darwinism

even in the opening credits one views Ben Stien as the key rable rouser and by him asking questions and putting out the valid question of "why?"

the film evolves from "subscribing to a concensus view" to exploring world history based on the same theories.

this film is moving as well, be aware those of you that pray that continuing a vigil in such for the nation and one another.

Freedom is Freedom, this movie will resignate with americans and the world community.

livin up to blog titles...

i think some how i wanted my blog to be less about me and more about beliefs i find true and intellectually stimulating for the purpose of conversation and almost a desire to figure out the emerging "emergent" blogosphere. yet increasingly I've discovered that i'm not into everything emergent, or even intellectual stimulation. What i've discovered is this blog is my own and whatever passes through brain synapses winds up spewed through the fingers like a rough draft.

ha.

i truly admire the people who blog surf, find this blog, and wonder what are Izenbet's Interests?

i think i'll make a brief list:(top)

1. God(spirituality)

2.working on accepting myself for who i am

3. working (even be it part time)

4. music and jamming with musicians(be it on viola or drums or singing)
5. dancing

6.socializing with friends

7. making new friends

8. racial reconciliation

9. sleeping

10. cooking

things i struggle with will be ranted out on the more dysphoric(?) blogs

a bloggers guilt..

i know not many people read this blog too often...and i don't blame them! i'm incredibly negligent about keeping this thing updated. and those of you i owe phone calls to or visits i apologize but thanks for actually reading this as a bit of an update!
so, to quote dwight from the office "what's the scuttlebutt?"
let's do this numericaly based on this month.

1. I have been working about 17.5 hours a week! not much i know but considering how I fell apart on the last job i feel incredibly blessed to be working at all.

2. I am an addict of Facebook and Heros and the Office. most guilty application in fb i'm on? owned!

3. Socially, man i miss some of my friends! esspecially the ones i don't see like, at all! To the ones in the Boston area that i haven't seen in about a year...we're due for at least a tea or coffee.
in the mean time...i am having a good time getting to know some of the members of my clubhouse. social outings with them can be either trying or friendship building or both! i feel like the youngest woman at the clubhouse most of my friends there are over thirty. i'm not far off from the semi big 3-0 but honestly i wish i had friends close to my age that have some similar interests and are in the area so talking on the phone for a while wouldn't cost an arm &leg!

so y'all know about my month o' Septembre...how was your month?

update

so i'm sitting here thinking i could really use a walk this beautiful august evening, but remain glued to the lazy boy cause reflecting on the week and day...i'm kinda crashing!
thank God it's not in an emotional way!
i'm actually looking forward to this fall and next week and opportunities that are rising. i know i can reach goals of rekindling contact with the people i considered friends before the isolating and feeling not worthy of being their friends. i know now that calling someone isn't inconviencing them and even if it's awkward at first hopefully if i call someone we can be honest and i hope to just be able to be me.

Lordship...Sunshine Deathray...and googly eyes

Two weeks in Kentucky = a whole lot to think about!
i will try to break up the 2 weeks into 3 segments which will be the title subjects.

LORDSHIP

my brother mike was intent on getting me in on the "life with guy" night the thursday me and G.G. rolled into town. fact is it was a group of young marrieds plus myself, bro, gg and mikey's roomie dave as the single reps. the dinner went alright, typical topics Christian youngfolk expecting children talk wafted over the table. oh yeah, 5 couples in the church are expecting children. i'm not going to reopen the dinner conversation cause that's not the point, but that is where the name Sunshine Deathray was thrown in. umm lets get to the point...the point where i got really real and was honest about me and Jesus. i think i really said too much, but what's weird is my brother had a clue that the past 5 years of my life have been rather stagnent, which transaltes to the challenge thrown in my face in the "hot seat" the question of " do you declare jesus' lordship over your life?" i thought i made myself very clear in the 1/2 hour questions were being thrown at me i love jesus, and i'm a christian, but it didn't seem good enough for this group of strangers. and i can see why from more reflection on why the hell i've been stuck in my parents house for 20 someodd years, making the same mistakes, going through the same cycles and always not falling/leanin/ seeking the life God surely wants to bless me with. He wants me to let my heart love and get me out of the cycle (hedges) .

anyways...i left that meeting tired and not wanting to ponder the greatness of what happend in that room. not wanting to face that maybe, just maybe, i should tap into the kentucky life my brother has experienced for a bit and increase the hunger after the Lord ember started in me once again.

Ghissela and I spent the rest of my time there talking, walking, watching hulu, and hanging out a bit with mike.

in Lexington, i loved helping my aunt susan out where she needed and listening to her advice. i enjoyed hanging out with my now grown cousins and celebrating Sean's graduation from high school, but what a change since the 15 years that i had last visited them!
tuesday wing night needs to translate up here too....i need to find a wing place and some folks to share wings with!

finally, on the final leg of my journey from Lex to Bos, i noticed something creative on the Riverside green line, googly eyes on a poster, i like googly eyes.

goodbye again?!?! indeed

i'm leaving!

but not for as long as i was gone last time. (yay! no dallas{if that's his real name})
i'm actually taking off tuesday with my future sister in law ghissela. we will be driving down to NJ then across to KY to bring my bro mikey a van and happiness through seeing me and his fiancee! so...what's planned for this trip? definately not another trip to jail(medications will be packed and used). the loose plan for now is to hang with mikey for a bit and see the community he joined...then to stay with my favorite aunt, Susan Stens.i plan to be back around the 1st of June, Ghissa wants me to stay longer but i kinda still need to work on putting my life together here on the northshore. there's nothing easy about not being able to see one of my few friends again til august after i drop her off in her new home, but that's just another thing on my list to change about myself. the friend component, it's not easy not having many people to call on the weekends to just chill with.

so the list: 1. job
2. housing
3. friends
4. dance
eh, that's enough for now