update...oh and happy new year~2009~!

welcome to 2009!
Thank the Lord that i survived 08...recession/downturn, whatever! 2009 will be better for me that last year.

top 3 things that already make this year better than last:

1. I'm in the state and moving to the city where i belong.
after the mistake of indulging in a destructive mania which landed me broke and in jail...i can safely say that my Deliver has given me some support here in Salem, Marblehead namely my parents and home churches (Gathering and GCC).

2. Encouragement.
i have had the privallege to be encouraged by both fellow Christians, fellow mentally ill folks, and those who graciously work with them. yeah i had to be hospitalized a few times this year but it was worth it for the regaining of a bit of sanity. it was really great to meet the most mature group of "Streamers" yet and the Filid. both of whom inspired me to continue seeking God's will for my life.

3. Work.

after losing a job while trying to attempt retail at bed bath & beyond, i was blessed by doing a "TE" at Holten Richmond Middle School. that job i will maintain til june, i'm so grateful.

be blessed.

stille nacht...

sometimes one craves a silent night.

often times i find my weeks are full, but lately tuesday nights have managed to be a bit quieter.

i think of Christmas and influx of family coming, they tend to bring joy and gifts and want to be entertained. i cannot wait to see my sister, sisterinlaw, and brother!

yet,

i feel kinda depressed. it will be hard this year to tap into the joy when i feel kinda overwhelmed from work and saddened that financially i probably won't be able to afford going dancing on friday nights or mondays or wenesdays for that matter! (monday:lindy hop practice, wenesday:west coast swing, friday: salsa or yet another attempt to find swing city!)

i'm content that tho i won't be able to invest tons of money into this season, i do have time and can try to muster up a smile or , as jim says, a belly laugh.

gutten nacht!

nos da!

paix!

nauseum after naps

i've been getting motion sickness sitting still.

fairly unimportatnt. and yet...

i heard a sister in Christ speak once on "modern inconviences" and how to take things that irritate one and flip it out to a praise and blessing to the Abba.

funny how certain services stick in ones craw like toffee!

i don't know, but perhaps, it wasn't the point of the message that hit home, it was the receptiveness of God placing ears on softened hearts and "breathing" through the Sister Rev. to make the words politely planting seeds of "hope and a future" in ears willing to hear.

i'm befuddlingly amazed at the beauty of the earth. but sometimes i'm more in love with the creation my Daddy sprinkled amongst the foliage.

i'm going for a walk now in this gorgeous weather now, with my Lover of Life, Jesus.

Ben Stien? an excellent choice for a film, movie review of Expelled

I have been enjoying in my down time a movie, most of those who know me know at this point in my cycles(hypomania) i don't have the attention span for a 2 hour movie, but Expelled has captured my attention and made me aware of the dire need to get scientist to be scientist.

this movie has pithy humour and encourages a thought provolking conversation afterwards.

forunately it give creedence and sheds light upon a hidden debate.

ID(intelligent design) VS Darwinism

even in the opening credits one views Ben Stien as the key rable rouser and by him asking questions and putting out the valid question of "why?"

the film evolves from "subscribing to a concensus view" to exploring world history based on the same theories.

this film is moving as well, be aware those of you that pray that continuing a vigil in such for the nation and one another.

Freedom is Freedom, this movie will resignate with americans and the world community.

livin up to blog titles...

i think some how i wanted my blog to be less about me and more about beliefs i find true and intellectually stimulating for the purpose of conversation and almost a desire to figure out the emerging "emergent" blogosphere. yet increasingly I've discovered that i'm not into everything emergent, or even intellectual stimulation. What i've discovered is this blog is my own and whatever passes through brain synapses winds up spewed through the fingers like a rough draft.

ha.

i truly admire the people who blog surf, find this blog, and wonder what are Izenbet's Interests?

i think i'll make a brief list:(top)

1. God(spirituality)

2.working on accepting myself for who i am

3. working (even be it part time)

4. music and jamming with musicians(be it on viola or drums or singing)
5. dancing

6.socializing with friends

7. making new friends

8. racial reconciliation

9. sleeping

10. cooking

things i struggle with will be ranted out on the more dysphoric(?) blogs

a bloggers guilt..

i know not many people read this blog too often...and i don't blame them! i'm incredibly negligent about keeping this thing updated. and those of you i owe phone calls to or visits i apologize but thanks for actually reading this as a bit of an update!
so, to quote dwight from the office "what's the scuttlebutt?"
let's do this numericaly based on this month.

1. I have been working about 17.5 hours a week! not much i know but considering how I fell apart on the last job i feel incredibly blessed to be working at all.

2. I am an addict of Facebook and Heros and the Office. most guilty application in fb i'm on? owned!

3. Socially, man i miss some of my friends! esspecially the ones i don't see like, at all! To the ones in the Boston area that i haven't seen in about a year...we're due for at least a tea or coffee.
in the mean time...i am having a good time getting to know some of the members of my clubhouse. social outings with them can be either trying or friendship building or both! i feel like the youngest woman at the clubhouse most of my friends there are over thirty. i'm not far off from the semi big 3-0 but honestly i wish i had friends close to my age that have some similar interests and are in the area so talking on the phone for a while wouldn't cost an arm &leg!

so y'all know about my month o' Septembre...how was your month?

update

so i'm sitting here thinking i could really use a walk this beautiful august evening, but remain glued to the lazy boy cause reflecting on the week and day...i'm kinda crashing!
thank God it's not in an emotional way!
i'm actually looking forward to this fall and next week and opportunities that are rising. i know i can reach goals of rekindling contact with the people i considered friends before the isolating and feeling not worthy of being their friends. i know now that calling someone isn't inconviencing them and even if it's awkward at first hopefully if i call someone we can be honest and i hope to just be able to be me.