Wednesday, February 23, 2011

reality shows.

i admit.

i am a semi-reality show snob.

(i was going to say whore, but snob fits too)

tonight, i am indulging myself with top chef. i have flirted with top chef seasons and am pumped to see the top chef all stars, chefs from all season, competing for the coveted title of top chef( plus a lot of money, and maybe a car or 2).

other guilty pleasures?

how bout stay in the same genre, Hells Kitchen & Kitchen Nightmares.
Gordon Ramsey made a killa decision to go from football(soccer) to kitchen to reality shows. the latest winner of Hells kitchen, won my heart with her attitude and palate, but i am ashamed to admitt i cannot remember her name. i think it's some sort of "ora"...

i used to be a biggest loser fan. i really tuned in when one of my Dr.'s sons was on it. Neil Tejwani changed his life and lifestyle thanks to Bob & co on Biggest Loser.
once, after the show ended, i saw neil in a mall in Salem, he looked great. and from what i can gather he & his girlfriend( or wife at this point) are very happy and a lot healthier. guiltiest pleasure is the real world/road rules shtuff. it basically is just beautiful people hooking up, and every now and then they throw in a transgendered.


silly me.

back to top chef, and maybe some americas next top model ;-p

Monday, February 21, 2011

gah, here again

listening to Lenka, on pandora radio.

if i stare down this blog long enough some words will magically appear and i will be able to post a blog post which creatively appeared due to the tappity tap of some poorly painted nails, 3 of which have been clipped today to prepare for the time which they will press on Viola's strings. when the nails press on the strings the other hand automatically draws a bow across them.
Currently, for music, i am experimenting with bluegrass. Laura will appear in Mhd tomorrow and we will attempt "angel band" and "golden wings".
but my music never just settles for stellar "o brother where art thou?" music.
Creativity points me to hymns, which meld into fiddling joyfully and actually singing my heart's song to Iesu.

so, there it is, a minorly red wine influenced blog on my musical expirementations on the third floor of Steadmanse.


Sunday, February 20, 2011


I cant undo what i did.
i wrote an emotionally charged blog, which expressed negativity i haboured toward a local pastor named phil wyman.
i relize now that it was wrong to slander a clergyman, despite my miffed and very hurt feelings.
i apologize to those who didn't understand why i went so extreme, i was hurt, but i had no right to express my hurt to the world in abusive language.

i know the next step is to apologize to Phil in person, but i'm not there yet.

i will seek the Lord in bringing me to such a repentive state that i'm able to not be angry or despise what the Gathering has become. i also ask for all of your prayers to humble my angry tounge, and seek the forgiveness of someone i find hard to respect.


Saturday, February 19, 2011


sometimes i come to blogging, not with an axe to grind, but with honestly not a clue what to write.
first thought that comes to mind is i'm cold.
it has been exceedingly windy and cold which is a nasty turn from the beauty of yesterday.
Daisy the cat above all other humphrey st cats is curled on my blanket.
she musta had a hard day of finding all the quiet sunny spots in chez steadmanse, i wager she didn't find any mice or other critters today.
speaking of other critters i saw a spider out the window of the front room, it was between the storm and the glass, it looked hungery.
today was cool, i got to have delicious indian food with a Beth Pollock. Beth and i have a foundation for building a truly respectable, possibly silly, friendship.
afterwards joyce & i went to see the SSU vikings, dominate the Westifield St hockey team.
long game, esspecially when one is there an hour early.
roll around to 5 pm and i'm @ Steadmanse, chillaxing and immediately upon walking in the door Jiyeun offers me Korean food! YUM.
filled with noddles and red potato, i reach for my macbook, and fool around on fb, then write jibba jabba here,
what worse is you just read it.
one more thing, i'm going to the VFW tonight to do kareoke with friends i miss, and people who are little more than acquaintances, life is good!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


I woke today,
an hour later than the tueday.
i let myself,

Whispering words of life
the day ahead

striped stockings, purple chucks
brown dress
gray sweater.
tie dye bandana

my battle won
grace prevails

love endures


Monday, February 14, 2011

a flirtaciousflauntingalloup ...story o ...well

it 's often good to start a story in Gensis, with element brewing to create a steamy possibly miraculous conception.
Elements. Spirt. and... a enigma of paradox.


i won't start that way... lets just start what i started in kingdom...a land and belief, ancient & present.

Prince Clyde was being the beststest hommmie to foolish ewon. After exploring the lib tree mall, they decide to continue chillaxin. & so, they went to the "eperate" leases @ 403 Esssex. 01970.As the jester joked with hair dye to create a bluish blac potentially perfect mowhawk.. the creature beast, Suzann'cycopath, started to medle...

Clyde enjoyed Mac& Cheese till the Jester sensing unrest and disrespect from the zangatdragon, confronted her and asked for respect. the battle began.

Clyde as my witness the foolish e! stood as a warrior would.

after clyde left...lizzybee: stunned, tried breathing. collecting her "battle worthy" 'elf she called 911.

cop came.

witnessed abuse.

Jesta went to King & Queeens!

demand les clyde...

matters reveiled that yes, abuse had occured.

to affirm pride and self worth a fool is not happy wit gold, but fun.

meetin respectable gmailers is a key stratagem....

i played up til 5pm, heading wrecklessly and playfully to Steadmanase.

Queen Anne...concerned. did not respect tjhe sojounr jorney norgey fool and demanded stuff.

all silly lizzzy iz thinking is POOP: the great equalizer.

love toujours. le SEULMENT silly steady izenbelle.

ps. jesse he ..better. ? call me???

Thursday, February 10, 2011

izen redemption

i've taken a lot of abuse in my life. and i had to stand up to a two year abuser tonight.

she thretend to hit me, i said"go ahead" and she left.

if anyone knows me, i dislike for things to get to this point. but it did. she is back in the apartment and in her room, talking "her side" to someone. i don't give a shit.

what's important is i challenged a fucking cunt, and started to win...

hello loved ones!

dear brethren (all inclusive)

i wanted to assure alllll my loved ones that i am well and recovered and actually blessed by whistle blowing. i need to post a prayer request for Sparrow. she is being abused by my sociopath roommate. pray that the whistle blows for her too. there is NO excuse for someone to manipulate or force their will upon another.

business aside, i know the shock i caused my loved ones by coming forward, but by the grace of Crist i'm better knowing that i'm NOT a "dog returning to vomit".

like i've posted i've had a string of wonderful days, love covers a multitude of sins.

if i have to end this post i'd like to encourage everyone to bone up and read ecclesiactes.


Monday, February 7, 2011

poem 2/6/2-11

When i say "I surrender who i am"

i just want to scram

from the horror of my sins and yet

i can't cash in

All the futility and morose grieving

doesn't bring me to Eden

It scratches scales and leaves me bleeding

from unquenchable tears of frustration

In the hopeful proclamation,

that "life is good" for the takin

Joy and strength breakforth

and silence the anxiety with in

For better, for worse, in pain and shame

contrast the light that blinds and scratches
the slime of shame

from tridents touch to suckers punch and back

to Saving Grace